April Absurdity: The Great Scale Wars!
Tue, Apr 01
|Calorie Purge: Revenge of the Skinny Jeans
Step right up, because who doesn't want to shed those pesky pounds, flex some laughable biceps, and wheeze a little less-all while pretending it's not just society's obsession with perfection nagging at your soul? Join now and transform into a slightly less winded version of yourself.
Time & Location
Apr 01, 2025, 5:00 AM – Apr 30, 2025, 10:00 PM
Calorie Purge: Revenge of the Skinny Jeans
Guests
About the event
"April Absurdity: The Great Scale Wars!"
Join us this April for a month of hilariously intense fitness and fasting as we embark on a journey to shed those stubborn pounds and improve our cardiovascular health—because who doesn’t want to be lighter and faster while also questioning their life choices?
Event Highlights:
Fasting Fun: Experience the joy of watching your food disappear once a week for 24-36 hours while you pretend to enjoy the taste of air. Bonus points for every time you daydream about pizza!
Push-Up Palooza: Engage in a 75 push-up competition where the only rule is to not cry while doing them. Remember, every push-up is just a way to get closer to that elusive six-pack (or at least a solid two-pack).
Sit-Up Shenanigans: Challenge yourself to 50 sit-ups and realize that you’ve been sitting down too long. Let’s see how many times you can sit up before…
Schedule
12 hours 1 minuteWeigh-In
The Pound-O-Tron 3000
12 hours 1 minuteSeventy-Five Floor Kisses
On the deck